Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Trade City

NHL Trade deadline today. Seeing as how sports is a religion in my life and hockey my God, yes, I did check various hockey blog and rumor pages at 20 minute intervals. And in case you ever happen to really need to know the skinny on hockey pages:

All of that checking, guiding Meghan step-by-step over the phone, pissing off my dad at work, and texting was sooooo not worth it. Flyers got rid of Upshall and got Dan Carcillo. Upshall is like blazing speed and heart. Carcillo is like blazing fisticuffs and hopefully, but not necessarily-- heart. I don't like their deals today but get back to me in a couple of weeks. If he's scrappy enough and hits-everything-that-moves enough, I think I could handle this. We'll see.

If he keeps punching people like this in the face he can be a Flyer by my book.

But it got me thinking about sports players and how much it would suck to get traded to another city. And I'll admit it, it's a raw deal for Upshall who alot of people liked. The millions of dollars he makes probably help it. But then there are situations where millions of dollars don't help it. Situations where money isn't an issue at all. You have bled, you have fought, you have suffered defeat, you have tasted in the deliciousness of glory in one town. You have had your jersey stitched and numbered for over a decade in one team color. You have made countless sacks and caught countless interceptions (21 and 34 respectively), you have done countless charities, you have laid out your body countless times, you have given your entire being--mind, body, and soul to one organization, to one team, to one city. In doing so, you have given yourself to each and every fan out there who grew up watching you.

And then they just dump you.

Brian Dawkins, you are my hero. And what Jeffrey Lurie, Joe Banner, Andy Reid, and everyone else in the Eagles organization did to you was a joke. I'll spend another day on Dawk -- he deserves one all himself-- but for today, screw you Eagles ownership. You're a disgrace. Please leave this town. Please leave football in general. Some people put their hearts into sports, not dollars and cents. I do hope you die, and I know you will (I do have fears that you're immortal and you're blood-sucking ways do make scientists think you're vampiric in nature), and that day Philadelphia will hopefully throw a parade (did you catch the double meaning there?). I can't go on or I'll never stop. I'll let the people speak for me. Here are just a few of the many altercations to our good friend's wikipedia page. Today alone:

Jeffrey Lurie

--Lurie bought the Philadelphia Eagles on May 6, 1994 from then owner Norman Braman (also Jewish) for $195 million
--Since becoming owner of the Eagles, Lurie has been ripping the hearts out of the Philadelphia fans. Being named NFL "Owner of the Year" by The Sporting News in 1995 and by Pro Football Insider in 2000 was the biggest joke.
--He is also responsible for helping push through the deal to build a new, $512 million, 68,500-seat football stadium, now called Lincoln Financial Field, and not signing any players to help his team win the Super Bowl because he can not sell any more seats in this stadium.
--Providing All-Pro Donovan McNabb with little or no receiving help, Lurie hopes for the best as McNabb is asked to carry the Eagles and the hopes of an entire city on his back. However, despite zero Superbowl wins, Lurie is able to do just enough to keep the Eagles in contention every year which apparently means something to him.
--He hired Joe Banner who eats babies and burns down orphanages in his spare time. He also traded Jesus for Greg Lewis in the 2001 season.
--He is a member of eight different NFL committees, making him one of the most inactive owners. As the Eagles' owner Lurie has subscribed to the "do nothing and hope for the best," school of thought.
--Jeffrey is the reasons Jews start with the letter J
--Jeffrey Lurie was the 2nd gunman on the grassy nole Lurie earned a B.A. from Clark University,
--Jeffrey Lurie gained his magical powers by killing a baby and drinking its blood in front of the devil himself.
--Please note the number of championships this owner has won. ---> 0

and my personal favorite

----Jeffrey Lurie Sprung Willy Free Prior to entering business, Lurie served as an adjunct assistant professor of social policy at Boston University. He once ate his weight in goldfish...not the crackers the actual fish.

So there you have it, Lurie. The fans have spoken. And I think they appreciate what you've done. Go to hell.

No comments:

Post a Comment