Monday, February 22, 2010

blogging. it's gay.

blogging is gay.

gay, you say? like, dude-on-dude gay? oh yes, it's incredibly gay. that's why i never get around to it. i'm usually knee-deep in women's vaginas and plowing my way through hot virgin sluts (yes, virgin sluts).

that being said, i may one day need to become a world-famous writer (if my plan on becoming a world-famous shark-watch salesman doesn't pan out). and i may need to keep writing. and while i don't think my writing will be anything like this, i assume it does help to slap together a few paragraphs like this, have no one read them and then do it again on occasion more to keep my fingers used to using a keyboard than anything else.

and i guess if i hit a low-point in my life and i'm strapped for cash (because i bought a mike green Lamborghini) i can always write porn? right?

lastly, i go onto youtube and type in 'funk' or 'metal' or 'badass jam' and look around until i find something that catches my attention every time i write on this site. and.... all i can say is japan.


my god, looking at this, i realize i could write an entire blog dedicated to how gay mike green actually is. if only i wasn't busy doing anything else.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

new gig

Sometimes i think everything is fine. And sometimes i feel like i need a new gig.

is it weird i feel like i should have been famous?

i'm not sure how. or why. but i can feel it in my bones.
i should be the one on tv.
i should be the topic of discussion.
i should have my own clever t-shirt slogans.

things i could be famous for:

-rock star
-Truman Show (you're all watching MY life)
-invent an infomercial product
-spokesperson for infomercial product
-badass athlete
-silent athlete
-4th string quarterback (NFL)
-really good at chess.... and banging girls
-terrorist hunter
-super villain that never dies and is integral to the show
-date celebrity
-made for tv movies
-got off for murder because i'm white
-hold my breath for 10 minutes
-owns 5,000 snakes (appear on oprah)
-am god.

again, i don't know what i was meant to be-- but chances are it could have been one of them. i need to look into it. i just never seem to have the time.