Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Superbowl is Gay

I was in Vegas in June.
I was drunk.
I also bet on the Eagles to win the Superbowl.

And that's just it, I wasn't that drunk. I was feelin' fine, I was rollin roulette like a gangsta, and I was high on the Eagles draft picks.

Well, as of yesterday, I've officially hit rock bottom.
2 Months ago I was feelin' a 13-3 record.
Now I might as well say 3-13.

Book it. Done. Game over.

We'll quickly go position-by-position and give my:
Worst Case Uh-Oh's.....

-Well, it's still Donovan McNaab. Good enough to give you a chance.... not good enough to win it for you in the clutch. He's getting older and mobility and injury problems have become worse over the years.
-It's also his final year as an Eagle w the job on the line (in my opinion), so maybe that lights a fire under his 'smilin,-i-threw-it-too-low-my-bad' ass. I consider Donny Mac a wash. I mean, what if we had... Rex Grossman?
-Running backs have short lives. When it's over, it's over. Westbrook is one of the best in the biz, but the injuries have been piling up and the stats have started to slow.
-McCoy? I really don't like relying on rookies to make an impact. Blocking is usually an issue for them. And who's our 3rd string if B-West does go down..... Booker?
-Can DeSean repeat his stellar performance w defenses keying on him now? Will Curtis be healthy and effective?
-Who the hell is your 3rd guy? You expect another rookie to emulate Jackson's breakout year last year? Good luck, especially w a kid who's never played NFL ball and has already missed half of training camp because of contract disputes.
-So we've got Shawn Andrews who might still have back issues and now has head issues? We've got his brother--first name 'Stacy'--?
-Not only are there injury issues to deal w first (like, will they all play), but this O-line has never played together before, and the veteran presense of Thomas and Runyan is out the window?
-The past couple years Akers hasn't been Mr. Automatic and Sav has been good, but inconsistant and super Austrlian.
-We hope to God D-ake doesn't have to kick at the meadowlands....
-They aren't bad. Contain most rushes. Put some pressure on the QB. But they don't have a real game-breaker or sack machine that alot of other 'top-notch' teams have.
-Trent Cole has baby brown eyes that could mesmerize his teammates.
-I was super-pumped for a breakout year for my boy--Stewart Bradley--and the rest of the LB'ers and then.... there goes the year.
-Bradley was the QB of the defense and a natural leader on a team that lost alot of leadership over the offseason.
-Other LB'ers are OK, nothing great. Who will fill Bradley's void?
-The only hard-hitting proven pro in the backfield is Sheldon and wouldn't you know it he's having contract issues w the Eagles. Another Lito?
-Asante and Hobbes are good cover-guys to a degree, but apparently the team has them learning/working out alot of press coverage---- something they didn't do for New England.
-No Dawk. You just can't replace that.
-Don't know who's gonna start or what kind of game they bring. Whoever it is will be a slightly better cover guy (in theory) and be a drop-off in every other category (all the way into the locker room and beyond)
D -Jim Johnson. The man w the master plan. The bringer of blitz. Even if the pieces weren't the best by themselves, JJ could always find a way to fashion a masterpiece on D. Putting guys in the right places, trusting those unteachable instincts of his, and master-minding that whole explosive, unforgettable Eagles defense this city takes pride in.
-Don't know what McDermott's got. We can hope-- but it's as simple as that. Plus, think of how the players will react. He may have their attention and their praise--but does he have their unwavering trust and will to go into battle?
O -Andy will always be Andy. Yea, we have a Fullback. Does that mean we'll use him or start running? What are you, crazy-- this is Andy.
-Forget who the O Coordinator is and it's getting late....
M(anagement) -Jeffrie Lurie and Joe Banner are scum bags. They think their shit don't stink and the bottom line in their world is the almighty $Dolla Dolla bill. They look down on the very people that support them and treat the fans, the media, and the players like they're idiots.
-Won't spend the money to pay better players or keep our good players happy. Possible holdout situations.

--------------But have no need to fear. Quick Banner quote:

"I feel this year we have the best roster in the league,” Banner said. And owner Jeffrie Lurie, he assured us was all about winning. The money means nothing to him, Banner explained.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhttttt.... you faggot.

Anyhow, that's where my brain is right now. Just jotting down my doubts and fears. Hope it'll turn around as we figure things out and finally get closer to football season. I mean, there are definite counter-points and positives to take from (almost) every position I listed. I know that. But we'll see. Just preparing for the worst case scenario.

And hopefully, this isn't just another let down year. Cause don't get me wrong, I love the 'Birds. I still got them picked to win it all baby! Shit, I got $30 or so invested in a Superbowl win. That'll pay out something like $330 or $400 or..... hmmmm, where did I put that ticket....

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