it always comes back to music. well, "music" and "time".
in life, i find myself boiling my politics, my love-life, my herbs, my spices, my views on international-trade, sex & drugs all in one big pot--and no matter the ingredients, no matter the stirring, no matter how i mix it all together.... i taste only the dulcet tones of one particular song. and it's the same song every time. i don't know what this song is. i don't understand any of the words in this song. it has been growing for 26 years. it has shifted and faded, changed and swelled. it never stands still and i don't know where it will go next. and it is oh so devilishly delicious.
so, yes, also, i can taste music.
i haven't played bass in over a week. i tried to play drums today but gave up after 10 minutes because i was having a "not-feeling-it-sesh,-man". i wish i had more time to rock out, i really do. lately i've been doing gads of things (i didn't really use 'gads' there) and just haven't had the time. it's like will ferrel in old school
FRANK: "Maybe bed, bath & beyond. i don't know. i don't know if we'll have enough Time!"
but it's true. that's what life is. figuring out what to do with your time.
and looking at it now, im starting to think i haven't lost as much music as i think i have. as im sitting here writing this i realize i've lived a shit-ton of lady gaga songs over the past couple months. i've gonna my swag on to more than one ke$ha song. i think i saw britney spears live a few weeks ago (fuzzy memory, lost cell phone, far from stage). Yea, none of these songs are ever going to make my top 500. i will never let my friends know i've ever enjoyed any of them. ever.
but who says you can't enjoy crappy music if you're with good friends? and making (more) great fuzzy memories? and who says you can't enJOy the music you don't enjoy? you have to live in the moment. you have to taste the sounds around you. you have to swirl around in whatever rhythm your song is creating.
you can't decide which songs make you smile when you remember a city, or a place, or a friend's awful hat. you can't tell what song might drive you to take up golfing. you can't know what songs will bring you back from the edge of depression. you don't get to pick what songs make you fall in love. you don't know which songs will ultimately drive your life. and you don't get to know what song will be your last.
so i sit here shirtless by the computer and i can't 1000% remember why i started writing this post. no clue. but that's ok. the tattoos emblazoned on my back are itching right now. itching for bass and for drum and for the sweet respite of time one finds just after midnight. it's time to do something i havent done in weeks. it's time to make sweet, sweet music to my bass. to add to my song. to give a little and to listen a little.
we've all got to listen. the music is all around us. those delicious songs drop in from time to time. here and there. whenever we least expect it.
it's our job to take them.
and just hold on.
and for god's sake--- dance.